If you're one of those people who:
1. Considers yourself to be in a relationship with your true soulmate
2. Had ever met, marrried or connected with what you considered was your soulmate in this lifetime
3. Is truly, madly, deeply in love with your significant other
4. Been married (with or with out kids) for several years
5. Is about to be married
6. Is in a long-term relationship and planning to keep it that way
What would you have done differently if your love was a different gender?
1. Considers yourself to be in a relationship with your true soulmate
2. Had ever met, marrried or connected with what you considered was your soulmate in this lifetime
3. Is truly, madly, deeply in love with your significant other
4. Been married (with or with out kids) for several years
5. Is about to be married
6. Is in a long-term relationship and planning to keep it that way
What would you have done differently if your love was a different gender?
posted by:
|
Unsubscribed |
-
Re: Would gender matter?
Sun, June 4, 2006 - 1:47 PMAs open as I am about sexual preference, I don't believe I would have fallen in love with my husband if he had been a woman. One thing I love about him is that he's a man. He smells like a man, feels like a man and has a man's body. I believe, for some people, sexual preference isn't a matter of falling for an individual regardless of sex. For me and for many, sexual preference isn't a choice. I may have a deep connection with my female or gay friends, but I'm not sexually attracted to them. Attraction in humans is more than mental. It's also physical and chemical. Some people can go either or both ways, and can choose the person from either sex they feel closest to. That's fine, but not me and not many of my friends, gay or straight.
Sorry, I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe there is one person meant for you throughout eternity. The belief that there is only one right person keeps some people from making commitments. "Well, this person just isn't my soulmate. I better keep looking." is what some people say when the going gets tough, or that person doesn't fulfill their every want or desire. If you believe you've found your soulmate, you may feel especially betrayed if that person , say, cheats on you or leaves you. You may feel the gods have cheated you or are punishing you. It just doesn't make sense that one person is out there somewhere and if that person happens to be on the other side of the planet, then you're screwed. It's a nice fantasy, but not realistic. Every marriage has good and bad days and it takes commitment, not some pre-ordained gift from the gods, to keep it going. -
-
Re: Would gender matter?
Mon, June 5, 2006 - 7:12 AMI agree with you Kathleen, my husband's gender is as much a part of him as his personality and both are a part of the total package I love.
As to your take on the soulmate issue. I had never thought of it that way, but I do agree with you. Too many people use destiny based excuses such as soulmates to slough off their responsibilities in taking an active part in their lives.
-
-
Unsu...
Re: Would gender matter?
Mon, June 5, 2006 - 9:16 AMSince I won't speak for others, all I'll say is that finding a true soulmate for me is such a deep, intense, understanding, unconditional and loving connection that it wouldn't matter to me what gender that person would be. -
-
Unsu...
Re: Would gender matter?
Mon, June 5, 2006 - 2:41 PMHmm. This is an interesting question and I'm not sure I get it. What would I have done if I had fallen in love with a woman the way I did my husband? Well I suppose that would mean I would have to accept that I was a lesbian (or at least bi) and I would have to follow my heart. I don't think I would have done anything differently.. except that I couldn't have married legally in my state and meeting the parents would have probably been a bit different. The connection I felt with my husband upon meeting him was deep, timeless, and immediate. There's no way I could have ignored that, regardless of gender... however, I think the fact that I'm straight would have limited my opportunity to feel that with a woman, if that makes any sense.
As to soulmates... It's hard for me not to think of my husband as my soulmate although I understand where you two are coming from. I can't discount having experienced severe and prolonged bouts of deja vu during the first months, having felt *genuine* love and recognition at first sight when we met, and having a deeper bond than I ever felt possible. I don't think that your life is going to be meaningless and depressing if you never find your soulmate however, for two people can love each other and live a wonderful life without ever feeling that FEELING of soulmateness. I do think it's a possibility though. Just my two cents. -
-
Re: Would gender matter?
Mon, June 5, 2006 - 4:21 PMSo, Melissa, do you consider yourself bi-sexual? Have you ever been in love before? With men or women or both. I'm just saying sexual preference in many is in-bred and one of the reasons we feel sexual attractions is because of the sex of that person. I have deep connections with many women that may be what you consider a "soulmate" kind of feeling, I just don't want to have sex with them.
Eva, I'm not in any way saying I don't have a deep "spiritual" bond with my husband that I've never had with anyone else and never want to. I do feel that way, I just don't believe in the idea of a soulmate where one person was destined to be for you throughout eternity. It's a sweet notion, but I think love, especially deep abiding connected love, is a decision we make to a person, not a pre-ordained lightening strike. I do not believe in fate. We have free will and free choice. That's exactly what makes a good marriage great: the decisions we make to stay together and love each other through it all. -
-
Unsu...
Re: Would gender matter?
Mon, June 5, 2006 - 4:57 PMHi Kath...
Do I consider myself bi? I can't imagine being with anyone sexually other than my husband, my soulmate. We've known each other through space and time. It's an incredible thing to discover. I have been bisexual in the past, but my original question had no intentions toward sexual activity. I meant it to be on a deeper level. I've posted this question on many other tribes and I'm getting lots of interesting responses. Thanks for your honesty.
Melissa Jade
-
-
-
