True Confession: Why did you Join This Tribe!

I joined because I didn't want to lead on any of the many, many people trying to go out with me on tribe.

In my entire life I have only met 1 or 2 couples who are happy. I have always dreamed that being happily married is not a myth, and through my time dating when things were not going well, a lot of unhappy couples would tell me things like, "nothing is perfect," or "you just want something that doesn't exsist," "keep wanting what you want and you will end up all alone," (as if that would be so horrid), etc., you get the picture. When I saw this tribe I thought, this sounds good. It sounds like a place where other dreamers dare to believe that they can be happy with someone... I haven't met many people who think this way.

RachL I agree completely! As far as why I'm here... that's easy, Because I love my husband, I like to brag about him, and I would like to be able to do it in the kind of environment that is welcoming of that. I am also here to learn from others experiances in their marriages, because I always want to have the very best relationship possible with my husband. Besides, it's nice to have something in common with everyone in a tribe;)

Well, I'll tell you why I started this tribe :) To find out if happily married people exist under the age of 70 or 80. I always see the old folks celebrating; in fact recently we had a couple on the news celebrating their 80th!!!!!!

The problem is the definition of "happy" that each of us have adopted into our imaginations. The socially accepted illusion we teach our children is that you fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after.

There is no perfect couple that together completes 100% of the person each dreams to be. There will always be disagreements, differences of opinion, and different approaches to raising kids, spending and saving money, sex, politics, religion, household chores, and the best way to use toothpaste.

After the madly in love stage passes, these differences are taken to be lost love and more than 50% divorce and go looking for a better match which for the most part are rarely found.

I met a girl when I was 14 who was very friendly and fun to talk to. She had a beautiful face and smile and thick long hair. I didn't pay much attention to her as there was a very hot blonde who was chasing me at the time. She (the blonde) was as dumb as a rock and would have done anything for me. Fortunately, I didn't take advantage of her. She later ended up pregnant with some much older guy’s baby.

One day, when I was about 17, a friend asked me if I had seen the girl we knew when we were 14 and he told me to give her a call. I did call and at 18 we were married and this coming march it will be 30 years.

We have days where we could kill each other, but they are always short lived and the core of what we have lives on. I will never leave her or complain about her nor will she ever leave me or complain about me. We love and accept each other unconditionally as we do our three adult sons’.

Even as I sit here she brings me a cup of coffee and later some tea with rye toast. I have a bad head cold today and along came some chicken soup.

My role tends to be the one who does little besides go to work and pay bills for weeks or months followed by some major effort of time, money, and energy. I spent the past five weekends from dawn to dusk building a new deck. I have the construction bug still flowing now so I may move to another project.

So along with Jeanne's communication and compromise, I add unconditional love and acceptance. I hope we can have an 80th on TV someday.

When I want to do something really fun it must include my better half. When doing anything is only really enjoyable when done with my best friend, I am continually reminded of the reason why I married her. She's not just my wife and mother of my child. She is the reason that I function so clearly. We are lovers, best friends and hang out buddies. We are proud to be all these things. When half of marriages fail, it's great to find a tribe that validates this great arangement. Happy marriages exist and are found between two people that love each other despite our failings because we are willing to communicate, listen and respond. I am confinced that most failed marriages are the result of one or two participants being a bit too selfish or unhumble. Just adding my 2 cents to this interesting tribe after 12 years of a successful marriage. Yes, marraige is a compromise but it's also the perfect place to practise the Golden Rule. My wifey rocks my world.