ps: i grew up with a dad who used porn and who constantly (still) points out how pretty certain women are (to his daughter!!!) that scarred me. i grew up thinking that i wasnt pretty cause i didn't look like all those women. (perfect scene from What Dreams May Come... the daughter chooses to be an Asian woman in heaven cause her dad always said how beautiful and smart they are). so perhaps he's to blame that i feel like an ugly piece of lard. or maybe it's a husband who can't even lie any more that i'm the only one he's attracted to? HMM>>> not surprised he"s attracted to other women< just really surprised he posted about it> so... U GO GIRL

ok ok ok ....check it out. i'm not really a bad guy here....

first...wife....since we're taking a personal matter to an online discussion....what i meant was i keep my own mind in check. i do not let my mind wander. if something should come up.....i quickly dismiss it. i don't dwell and fantasize about it. i was heterosexual before i met you. i was attracted to you! i am attracted to you. i think you're beautiful....look.....there was never anyone before you. i have no memory of any other woman. ever. not a kiss. not a love letter. not a nothing. never. can you imagine? no. i was defending you and your views about pornography. i wasn't making an online confession about my secret desires for other women. because i have none. there is no one. not now not ever. and you don't trust me because...why? i have never......ok. i was only trying to say that a person does not have to entertain those thoughts. they can choose not to. and i'm sorry what i said hurt you.

eva. you go girl. she said it right. more power to you. if you are confident.....and strong....and whatever it takes to be ok with it......heck yeah. i'm sorry if it seemed like i was trying to convince you that you should distrust your husband....or spawn any feelings of jealousy. we, here, live a very different lifestyle. there is no talk about fantasy or desire that doesn't turn into a traumatic experience. we might get divorced because of this! she loves me less because if this. she said "one more crumble in the foundation". so if you can explore your own feelings and are ok with your most loved one doing the same.....while maintaining a happy marriage, good for you. i was more of getting a querry about it. i was surprised that a real person actually felt that way. i have no idea what people think out there. in here we turn our heads when people kiss on tv. not exagerating. and that's not a problem for me as long as its equal between us....but from what i've learned, it's different for girls. i don't know....and i don't really care. i'm sorry if i sounded contrary, or if i presented myself as a bad guy who lusts after other women....i'm sooooo totally not that guy. you have no idea.....

also i'm a little embarassed about this whole situation. i don't like being made fun of on the web...not that it REALLY matters....except that it was by you, carrie, my wife. i liked it better when i could look for insight anonymously. it works away at the bias. but i realize that i know nothing. i can't defend women without hurting one. i feel like an over bearing christian who feels sorry for non christians.....but those are my views....i simply don't understand. i haven't enough maturity or experience on the matter. i can only theorise.

prolly leave this tribe....might be for a different crowd than me....

sorry guys.
-m

Kind of in the same boat. We too point out people to each other. We do it to teasingly with each other. I respect my wifey though and would never do anything that made her feel uncomfortable. We are just both fine with this and enjoy the fun. We also trust each other.

I think as some of us were saying, looking at someone beautiful makes you human. My husband would never say, "Look at that hottie!" That's just sleezy in my book. I don't mind if he notices a beautiful woman, though, because I know he's going home with me.

Congrats, Newly Married Guy! I wish you much happiness!